28 May 2008

"Gothic Britain", part1 - Too many black birds

I should really start to do a blog-series called "Gothic Britain". I see so many scary things here that I don´t see in Spain, specially in the sunny, calm, "I-feel-like-I´m-always-on-holidays" Mediterranian. British humour (sarcastic as hell, pesimist, always expecting the disgrace to happen and then smile with the "I knew it" expression on the face, but that would be for another post.. ).

The thing that stunns me every day! is the huge amount of black birds in this country, specially ravens! ravens! Those little tiny black things are not just birds, there´s something deeply dark and disturbing about them (and I´m not talking about colour and how rounded they are). I feel that creepy feeling even more now, after what it happened to me once...Here´s the horror story....Ready?

One day, I was all bored in my livingroom that I decided to have a look what it was going on outside the window. Just in front of it, next to the roses there was a black tiny bird. That thing was viciously killing a little earthworm, hitting it against the mud all over and over again....That little black thing (the bird) realized I was being the witness of such a murder.

The black criature dropped the earthworm from his mouth. Start staring at me, without winking....I carried on watching (it was just a bird, for god´s sake!). But that little rounded black thing kept staring at me. The fear started to take control over me. Oh...god! That vicious thing might fly to the window to peck it down into pieces....like in that Hitchcock's film!

I close the curtains. For a couple of seconds, almost half a minute. I went back to the window, that thing was still staring at me. The earthwomb corpse was still lying on the mud, ignoring that its death really meant nothing for the black bird because he got a fixation for me. I never really shitted on myself that much (if we ignore the time a male swan run after me and my friend because we got too close to the female-she was expecting...Another vicious bird....I will tell that in another post). As I was saying, I never really shitted on myself so much in my life, even more than Tippy Hedren did on the film...(Well, she had so many thing to fear in that film: the birds, the chance of having a geeky daughter who she ended up having, Hitchcock -who was trying to date with her...)
I hope my story will prevent other people to feel threatened by a creepy black bird....

Don´t get confused, that little chubby thing could kill you. Behind all that black they must see you as another Tippy Hedren...

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